Thanks to social media, people can contact you and find out what is really going on in your life up to date, as long as you let them see the truth or at least part of the truth.
I never give my full daily story on social media because I know I have stalkers lurking to report back to people that either once loved me or people trying to find out what I know about them being a part of the deceit from my past.
So far, being a part of social media, I have been comfortable enough to post what I want, when I want and how I want to say things. But last week that changed after a decision I made to hit the confirm button to allow another visitor into my "Social Media Home".
I have come to reality with knowing that I will never go back to having a relationship as a daughter, sibling, cousin, or niece to a lot of my adopted family. And to be honest, I'm okay with that. After visiting my adopted father in the hospital two months ago (after not seeing him for years), there was no indication that we would be anything more than we are now, DISTANT. But that visit showed a different plan in my adopted mother's face. It was like she really wanted to have some kind of connection with me that we lost in translation years ago. In my mind though, it was never going to happen because regardless of what she appeared to want, she was still under the guard of her beloved husband, my adopted father.
I remember calling after he was released to go home from the hospital and my adopted mother acting short with me on the phone. I knew it was because he was sitting next to her and that's how it always was. His motto is "If he's not talking to you then neither are they". That is why I lost a lot of contact with additional family members growing up because of his army style stubbornness. And that is why she lost a lot of contact with additional family members including her close relatives as well.
I gave all of the above information because I wanted my readers to understand why the decision to allow someone into my social media home became a confused game of hitting confirm or hitting ignore.
I knew that if I hit confirm, then it would open up a door of opportunity to invade my public privacy that I have been comfortable with up to that point. I also knew that if I hit ignore, it would open up a door of opportunity to invade my public privacy that I have been uncomfortable with since I stopped talking to certain people. I use the phrase "public privacy" metaphorically because social media is never private even when you block someone. There is always public stalkers who help them to get into your social home to invade your privacy.
After two days, I decided to hit confirm. I invited my adopted mother into my social media home. By hitting confirm to accept her friend request, I am accepting that I will be opening a door to invade my public privacy on an awkward level. But on the other hand, if we did not have social media, then neither of us would have the opportunity to have any communication without my adopted father's knowledge that would keep either of us from ever reaching out unless illness or death was present.
I decided it didn't matter if it was to stalk me or to genuinely keep in contact with me, either way I've accepted it for what it is and will continue to do things as I always do on social media.
FYI: I am, however, cautious a little bit about how I post, out of respect because at the end of the day she is still my mother that raised me. So I keep explicit stuff out of her reach by customizing who can see those type of post.
Isn't that ironic that no matter how I feel about being "Adopted into Deceit", I still give respect where it is do to my adopted parents! (raised to respect elders, mature enough to respect without anger)
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