Newly Born!

As you grow up parents have albums showing who you were, your first steps, when your teeth started coming, just different things to let you know that you were once a baby. But what about that first introduction to the world,  your footprints and handprints,  your father holding you for the first time...

I never realized that there were NO newborn pictures of me,  not even a 3 month old picture to reference.

As children,  we only see what we are taught to see and that is the reality of it.  I saw maybe a total of 8 pictures of me of around 6 to 8 months old or so,  which now tell me a different story of how they tie into my adoption.

Each picture was based on home visits that my adopters were granted.

I was told they had to wait almost 6 to 9 months to be able to bring me home full-time as their own.

Growing up,  I saw newborn pictures of my cousins on family walls and stands but never one of me.  But again,  I never questioned why nor thought anything was out of the ordinary.  Now as an adult looking back on everything,  I now see what I was blinded by as a child.

If you are really tuned into my story,  you will notice that I said I saw newborn pictures of cousins,  I never said siblings.
I know my adopters foster child was older when she came into the picture per say, but they have a son that they conceived.
 So where were pictures of my adopters blood son? Were they hidden just to make sure their secret stayed a secret?  In other words,  did they remove them so that the chance for me to question my own pictures would not surface??
Maybe one day that will be answered like everything else,  having its own time and place in my life to be answered.

Being an adult and adopted,  you question alot about your past.  And as I just stated,  each question and answer,  has a time and place in my life.  Well the most amazing important question arose and was answered instantly by a blood family member who kept me alive through pictures!!

A few days ago, I was sent a picture of a beautiful newborn baby girl.  She had my eyes,  my nose,  and my smirk that everyone admires so much!  That baby girl is ME!

Immediate tears of joy and sadness at the same time emerged from my eyes.  I only saw this little girl in my youngest child as a newborn, but never would I pictured myself to be a newborn because, up until now,  I never was a newborn in my eyes.

But a few days ago,  I found myself Newly Born