Materialistic Memories

Memories should be filled with love and laughter, good times and bad times, hard times and easy times, and even dreams that were hoped to be a part of your future. Growing up in my household was filled with all of those and then some. The problem is the "Then Some" seemed to outway the rest.

A child has learned behavior and has to grow up choosing right from wrong based on the learned behavior. I grew up learning that being materialistic was key to success. I will give my adopted parents the respect of raising me in a great environment, a beautiful home, and making sure we always had the best clothes, shoes, toys, and electronics. They worked hard to make sure we had everything, but it did not help us kids in many ways in the long run.

Growing up, I was envied, family and friends were jealous, and I was talked about as being a "Rich Bitch" by my peers. I did not realize at the time that I appeared to be a flaunter of what I possessed, but I learned as a teenager that I was flaunting. I watched my adopted parents flaunt for so long and thought that was normal. After hanging with my peers who lived by means of making them appreciate every little thing and cherish what they had, I grew to understand that what I had was handed to me without work and I was not taught the value of things. I was given things just because it was the new thing at the time.

Later, as an adult, my cousin told me that she was jealous of me even with all of my "deceit issues". She said that her parents tried to always compare her to me and what I was doing and what I had when I was at my best in school before finding out about my adoption. She also said she was so happy when she heard that I had took a turn for the bad after my adoption findings and now I was being talked about as being a bad kid and thats what she wanted to hear for so long. Funny thing is, after hearing her talk about it, I do not blame her for feeling that way.

With my own children, I made sure that Christmas and birthdays were lavishing and flaunty. Why because that was a learned behavior to show how much money I could spend to make my kids shine in front of their peers. So just like us as kids, my kids were looked at as flaunters, lucky kids, and they were also envied by some of their peers and relatives. It took a while to realize what I was doing, continuing the family tradition. So when saying "no" became a part of my vocabulary to my kids every wants, it created another problem. So I began to teach my kids the value of a dollar and instead filled the "want" gaps with more of my love, attention, and honesty. I learned to show them that money cannot replace truth, feelings, and love. I taught and continue to teach my children that a "Mother's Love and Trust Memories" are worth 100% more in value then Materialistic Memories.