WHAT WILL HIS HEART DO TO HIS EYES?

Finding out I have 7 siblings on my so called blood father's side is puzzling to me. This man knew that he and my blood mother had a child together and after her death he never tried to find his little girl.

I am that little girl!

Instead he felt no reason to find me and build a father-daughter bond.
I have questions that will never be answered by this man. Why? Because I feel that if he wanted to acknowledge that I existed then adoption in his eyes would not have been an option.

Instead he continued to have children after me and build bonds with them, forgetting about that little girl that was left to be bought like a baby doll on a shelf at Toys R Us.
Am I bitter? Hell YES! I could have run into my brothers and sisters throughout the years and none of us have a clue about our relationship as siblings.

He is a selfish poor excuse for a father and man in my eyes. I say selfish because even if he didnt want to build a bond with me, he could have given his children an opportunity to make their own bonding decision with their sister.

Questions:
1. Why didn't he take me instead of allowing me to be bought?
2. Does his heart feel like a piece of him is missing?
3. Am I the oldest sibling?
4. Did he ever tell them that they have a sister that was given up for adoption?
5. Did he argue with my deceased mother about giving me up for adoption?
6. Was an effort made to find out if I still exist?
7. How does his conscious let him sleep every night for all these years knowing that he has a daughter out there that he never even got to know?

And my final question:
If I decide to approach him,

WHAT WILL HIS HEART DO TO HIS EYES?